I continuously amaze people but not always in the ways I wish I could. I have always been directionally challenged. As I experience multiple migraines, memory issues, more stress, and anxiety, I have only gotten worse. Put me into an unfamiliar town or part of the city where I enter the parking lot, spin me around a few times and I likely will not remember which way to turn when we get to the street.
I keep trying to get better at it but of course I still struggle. The more I drive the more I become familiar with new places and navigating. I always second guess myself and get even more nervous when I have passengers. I get frustrated and more anxious, making more mistakes when I am under pressure or a time crunch.
I find this can be how I face many new situations. The more I work at it, the better I can get. I can learn to face and feel the anxiety without always letting it win and paralyze me. Although I believe I will always struggle, I also believe I can win more often and get better results.
It isn’t an excuse to never learn this skill. I still need to get past my fear and often self fulfilling prophesy of messing up. If I have the mindset that I will always fail, I usually just make the situation worse than what it needs to be.
What’s the worst that can happen? If I get confused I can get lost, get frustrated, have someone say something unpleasant, or someone behaves unpleasant. I can handle all that. So I needn’t get so worried, nervous and anxious. I still will second guess myself in the future, but likely less often as I keep trying.
Just because I am not great at it doesn’t mean I use that as an excuse to not bother trying to learn and improve.
This can be applied to many situations and goals in life. I once was inexperienced at walking, yet I still learned. I once didn’t talk…and now I can talk and talk and talk….! Lol.
People don’t always know where and when they will shine brightest. I am turning my struggles into moments where I can share and shine my light to anyone else struggling too. Moments of struggle can help me learn and find support and belonging. Moments to help me find you who are ready to share your stories and deserve to shine too.
Tracey, GYST2020
GYST2020 
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