If you don’t have 10 minutes for yourself daily, are you really living your life?

When you are overwhelmed, taking time for yourself seems so far away. In a society that sensationalizes busyness, it seems counter productive to take 10 minutes for yourself. With so much going on, who has time? As society speeds up, we are putting more and more pressure on ourselves to outperform, do everything, be perfect, have it all, do it all, be it all, and chase even more at a faster pace every second.

It may even seem like you should feel guilty prioritizing yourself. Many gender roles or expectations are thrust upon us all. I don’t discriminate based on gender or any of the other unfair ways people can be discriminating. I find there are many times where these perceptions of some can really interfere with our self worth or expectations.

I am not presenting it as an issue for an argument or want to cause anger, resentment or a divide among people. I hope you will use these generalized statements as a start to pondering what you may have been conditioned to think and feel.

Some actually do work for you to strive to improve. Unfortunately, most work against you in creating an unrealistic basis to feel you never measure up or need to compete.

It is something that seems to have more of a role in our lives than it needs to some days. Sometimes we are the ones putting these gender roles upon ourselves or others in strange ways that are not helping us or others. Sometimes these come out in competition or snarky comments that really don’t help anyone.

These comparisons are sneakily pushed by society in advertising or society norms. I hope we can see them for their positive and negative connotations. I hope we can learn how they negatively effect us and our health so we can work towards the right kind of self love. Work towards accepting ourselves and others for who we truly are. Believe in who we could become if we were more in tune with our true feeling. Be strong enough to ask for what we need to be happy and healthy. Be secure enough in ourselves to listen when others ask for what they need without internalizing or twisting their words.

We have been conditioned as women to take care of everyone else. Men must be the strong personality and breadwinner. Be a good girl and put everyone else’s needs first before thinking of what we need to be healthy. Men are strong and authoritative, women in the same position saying the same thing are the B word… Women gossip, compare and compete…Yet I hear men who gossip just as much as the women around that water cooler!

Don’t speak up and make waves. Don’t seem like a bossy woman, angry women are not liked. Don’t be too ambitious. Why aren’t you married girl? A married woman is bad for prioritizing family above business.

Nobody likes a man who can’t take charge…A man is bad for prioritizing family before business. A man doesn’t do certain jobs or tasks at work or home… Men don’t do yoga. Women don’t know sports. Boys don’t play with dolls. Husbands aren’t homemakers.

I mean no disrespect to anyone here. I really have no understanding of how maids/janitors/housekeepers/foreign workers/care workers, those who were abused, older/younger generations etc are somehow second class citizens.

How anyone is a second class citizen is beyond my comprehension. I don’t understand any of the double standards imposed. Even whether you are pretty/handsome, weight, and so much more somehow plays into opinions of worth or status. Incomprehensible and so hurtful. How are some so shallow? Yet many times we put these judgements on ourselves or believe others if they have made us feel or think these very same things.

I won’t continue to go overboard with the generalizations. It seems many of us put unrealistic expectations on ourselves regardless of age, gender, stage in life, past experiences, family role, career stage, and any past abuses we have experienced making us not good enough.

We are good enough. Just as we are. We don’t need more. We don’t have to compare and compete. We don’t have to feel guilty for taking time for ourselves. We can boldly ask for what we need to be healthy. We can be vulnerable and let others see our imperfections.

And we will be ok. We will be ok with not being perfect. We will see we need those 10 minutes or more every day to take care of more than just our basic needs. Our spiritual needs matter too. Our health matters. Peace and tranquility can be ours, even if only for 10 minutes.

Tracey, GYST2020

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